sunday scaries vol. 4

Samurai Scaries

I spent the night at a guys house that I had JUST started talking to that week (my first time at his house.) in my drunken state, I decided it was a good idea to play with his samurai swords while also scream-singing careless whisper. I then asked him to tech me how to salsa dance and get sturdy. Worst part is we both woke up remembering that I did that… my poor roommate had to pick me up and hear about my hangxiety attack for an hour.

Frat Fairytale

Once upon a time I was at a college out of town on a Saturday night. I met this boy and we hit it off like it was a fairytale. I ended up going back to his place at a frat house where we proceeded to do what college students do. He fell asleep at 2am and I realized I had to leave in that very moment. Called my friend at the hotel to make sure she could let me in before I left and she said she could. As I get to the hotel my friends stop answering completely and I was locked out of the hotel and couldn’t get back into the frat house. I was stranded at 3am in a college town I did not know. So I did the only logical thing I knew to do and went on tinder to find someone awake at 3am to let me stay with them. It happened to be a freshman dorm. Next morning I realized all of my cards were gone and left in the frat house and he was not there. So me and my friends simply broke into the frat house (the back door was unlocked) and found his room and got my cards back!

short and sweet

One time I woke up with one of the cantina waiters in my bed…that’s all.

Mr. Michelob

Me and my best friend were at her boyfriends party. They had a bonfire and there was a bunch of people. We were at the point where everything tasted like water, and her boyfriend had cut us off from his cooler so we went scouting for another cooler. We checked in the guys truck that doesn’t drink and there was someone’s cooler so we were drinking out of that. He opened his cooler and noticed a bunch of his beer was gone. He came to the middle where everyone was and said “Who has been stealing out of my cooler, I’m the only one here with Michelobs”. We stood there with a Michelob in our hand and said “Not us”. We took off running into the woods, and fell in briars and just rolled over and looked at the stars until it was time for us to leave.

choclate don

One time I woke up in my friends' dads bed in a pool of period blood two hours late for work and more hungover than I have ever been. I go to go on my phone and realize that I lost it. I had blacked out the night before with only the memory of meeting a male stripper by the name of The Chocolate Don. My phone is nowhere to be found but I had the Don's business card in my pants. I did not get my phone back for a week until my Uber driver from that night called the number I put on my phone in lost mode. She meets him to give him my phone and states that his daughter (calls me by name) was picked up from a nightclub at 2 Am with two friends (names them too) and was extremely drunk. She said that we were clearly underage and she was worried about us because we had all passed out in the backseat. My dad came home and told me all of this. This was unfortunate because I was a junior in high school and I told them that my phone was lost in a parking lot. I was caught in the fattest lie because of my OP of an Uber.